He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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