i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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