found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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