I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Still dying that you shit outside
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
