Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
