i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
