yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Found your dick twin last night
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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