dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
