I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
