Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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