Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
