I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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