what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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