Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
