He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
