So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
