bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
