he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
