He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize