Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
you didnt know i had herpes?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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