my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
