So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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