Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
