Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
We left the knife in your bed.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
