Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
