Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I have demons in me.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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