I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
