no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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