Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
