She's JV to your varsity
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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