Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
