We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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