bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
