If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You're a waste of cheezeits
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
