Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
