I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
