mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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