I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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