i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i think my mom watched the whole time
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
