Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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