new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Randomize
