Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
