im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
