White coat. Heels.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
