Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
