he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
