Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I have tasted many bathrooms
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
