Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
