The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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