Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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