your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
