you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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