Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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