how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
