That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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