If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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