How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
