Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
someone owes me an orgasm
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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