Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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