There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
