i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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